Tillotama Shome recalls attending award shows as plus one: Felt sorry for myself

Actor Tillotama Shome, in a recent interview with India Today Digital, recalled her experience of attending award shows back in time. Having started her career with Monsoon Wedding, the actor received accolades for her performance in projects like Sir, Delhi Crime 2, Qissa, and A Death in the Gunj, among others. Recently, her web series, The Night Manager, also received a nomination at the 52nd International Emmy Awards.
As she prepares to attend the event next month, Shome shared how she would initially feel awkward attending award shows in India. The actor said that she would usually attend these functions as a plus one with friends.
“It was very awkward as I felt I didn’t belong there. It amplified my feelings of being an outsider. And because I would be there with someone, the ushers wouldn’t know if they should let me in or not. I had to show my invitation to finally get it. Experiencing all that would trigger all my insecurities, and I would keep thinking why did I even go! I wasted my evening, which I could have rather spent with a loved one. I would feel sorry for myself and it was not a great feeling. That’s when I decided I would only attend shows when I had work. I don’t want to be seen like that,” she recalled.
She also spoke about how the industry changed its perception of her after Sir. Thanking director Rohena Gera, Shome said how she credits the film’s success to the audience: “They owned the film, they made it. The love that I got for Sir showed the power of a story, and how it can reach people’s hearts. I started getting awards and recognition after that. I remember when I won the Filmfare, it was a huge moment. My mother was battling cancer, and it was such an encouragement to the family, who stood by me and my unconventional choices. They have always supported me and believed in me. Every award that came after that, I have taken it for my parents, and they keep it all in our house in Calcutta, for everyone to see.”
The actor added that in the last two years, filmmakers have seen her in varied roles, a battle she had to fight for many years. “Because I did Monsoon Wedding as my first project, people would only see me in roles of a woman coming from a certain social milieu, underprivileged, or someone with a sense of pathos; a tragic figure. It took me a long time to get out of that image, and Tanuj Chopra’s Delhi Crime 2 definitely broke that mould for me. Konkana Sen’s Lust Story also had a role reversal, while Kota Factory 3 made me connect to the youth,” Shome shared.
She added, “I do think people are today seeing me through a changed glare. And I am thankful to all the writers and directors for coming through this fray. Because their stories were so unique, it gave space for actors like us. We owe it to them. I feel fortunate to experience this change and work on such diverse roles and projects.”
Shome was last seen in Tribhuvan Mishra CA Topper, which is streaming on Netflix.